An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office and while there the Doctor asked for a sperm count. The doctor grabbed a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this -First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left and, but still nothing. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "Dear God, man... you asked your neighbor?"

"Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."